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Like finding a twenty dollar bill under a sofa cushion...

For writers, there's no sweeter surprise than to find an unfinished piece of promising writing. I came across this incomplete essay yesterday. From 13 years ago! This is just the first snippet. What do you think, should I finish it? The first line cracked me up. I might've been drinking that day. Hahaha.
Big Venus
Some dogs shouldn’t screw. Like a liver and lime milkshake, not every combination works. Imagine what a cross between the squatty Dachshund and rotund Saint Bernard would look like – a blob with no legs? And how about the product of a Chihuahua and a Great Dane? Let’s just hope the mother was the Great Dane. If we bred a Chinese Crested Hairless and the Afghan Hound would the puppies sport clumps of shiny hair separated by bare spotted skin? There are over 400 dog breeds ranging in weight from three to three hundred pounds. And while the American Kennel Club (AKC) only recognizes about 160 breeds, puppy designers are busy mixing and matching canine genes to come up with the next hot dog. Popular combinations offer desirable traits such as small size, low shedding, friendly temperament, and smaller turds (although they rarely list turd size in their sales copy) and sell for as much or more than their purebred cousins.
Like garlic in an Italian kitchen, Poodles seem to be a favorite ingredient in designer puppy mixes. There’s the Bosipoo (Boston Terrier/Poodle), Chi-Poo - (Chihuahua/Poodle), Cockapoo - (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle mix), Doxiepoo – (Dachshund/Poodle), and hundreds of other Poodle combinations. Are Poodles really that desirable, or do dog marketers find they can charge more for puppies with poo in their names?
Many of us have mixed breeds that happened the good old fashioned way – through casual unprotected sex. Midnight rendezvous at the playground, accidental trash can encounters, and unsupervised play dates bring all sorts together. And apparently canines are not picky about with whom they hump. Having attended the mandatory diversity training session at puppy orientation, they value all kinds, shapes and sizes (some over-achieving male dogs try to connect outside the canine species, in fact). While individual chemistry might still come into play, the fat dogs are likely getting as much tail as their slimmer pals, and tall dogs seem willing to squat low to tag those cut little designer poo dogs. The result of this hippy-like dog love is a four-legged furry rainbow. Sometimes called mutts (short for muttonheads) or mongrels, crossbreed dogs make the world a more interesting place. But do the combinations always work?


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